I know most of you who are working could relate to what I am posting today. One in particular is the most famous Reyna Elena. And Oh yes, there is a Doreen in all company. (Click on Doreen to find out what I mean.) So instead of unleashing your sailor tongue, use the following guidelines from a Memo drafted by HR.....
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some
individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training on the computer and copier.
INSTEAD OF: WHy don't you know what the f___ you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late .
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
4 Oinks:
Good thing my company doesn't need these guidelines, yet. Hahahahah.
Thanks for sharing.
i feel like writing the HR office:
attention: human resources
what the f**k do you mean by this letter? would you kindly leave us the f**k alone.
respectfully,
sardonic nell
bwahahaha! i have such a foul mouth ;)
I'd rather shut up then use any of those lines. :)
Hey, when you get the chance, you may want to swing by my other blogs. :)
joy
A Pinay In England
Your Love Coach
The Goddess In You
I BLAST THEM BACK! hahahaha! And I let out the fire and ice and hell out of my bicol sili tounge! Hahahah!
One thing I learned from working in my current job is that, before when I used to just be nicey nicey, the more they f_k me up. I learned to fight and by golly, I became Reyna Elena at work.
I should have done this when I was in Princeton. But you see, I guess it depends on what kind of working environment you are in.
But given my blatantly hell fire mouth when I am angry especially if I know I am right and I was the one who got offende, I'm actually very nice to all of these people. After that, that's how they started to change treating me with respect. Now, as to whether or not that's real, who knows. What I know is that they stopped bullshitting me and disrespecting me in public.
Except for Doreen....
Tsk tsk tsk
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